If I Stumble
by Bec-Bec
Summary: HAPPY ENDING! HAPPY ENDING! But if you're not crying from happiness, you will be! Jarod and Ms. Parker exchange poems via the internet as he tries to convince her to end the chase. All short verse poems.
1. If I Stumble

Disclaimer: The Pretender is not mine…let's repeat this to ourselves…The Pretender is not mine…The Pretnder is not mine…I've brainwashed you all now. By the way, as long as the characters continue to live in my head, they're a part of me and so, in some small way, they are mine.

Summary: Jarod and Ms. Parker exchange poems via the internet as he tries to convince her to end the chase.

Author's Note: Hah, my third Pretender fan fiction at one time, I really have too much time on my hands…sigh…but it's oh so much fun.

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If I Stumble

By Bec-Bec

Chapter 1…if there are more chapters…

To Ms. Parker

From: Wonder Boy

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If I Stumble

If I stumble,

I'll fall right into that net you've had waiting all of these years.

And, would you release me?

Would you let me go now?

Haven't we changed?

Hasn't the chase changed?

If I stumbled on purpose,

If I came to see you,

Would you have them take me away?

Would you shoot me,

If I asked to stay?

Would you stay with me?

I'll let you catch me then.

I'll be yours then.

To: Lab Rat

From: Ice Queen

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The Chase Never Ends

The chase never ends.

It will never end.

We're stuck in hell forever.

You know and I know,

That the chase never ends.

So, you keep running,

I'll keep chasing.

This choice isn't ours to make.

It was never ours to make.

We play their game.

We play it well.

So, don't change the rules.

You run,

I chase,

That's the way it is.

You run,

I chase.

To: Ms. P

From: Wonder Boy

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But, What If I Didn't Run?

But, what if I didn't run?

What if you didn't chase?

What if we stopped it?

Couldn't you be with me then?

Couldn't you be mine then?

I'll end it now,

Just give the word,

And It stops.

It will stop right now.

I'll end it now.

All I need is one word.

To: Pez Head

From: Ice Queen

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I Can't Give You That Word

I can't give you that word.

I can't give you my heart,

Because I have no heart to give.

They took it away long ago.

They broke us long ago.

So, stop trying to confuse me.

I want you back at the Centre,

And I won't give up the chase.

You'll come back to the Centre.

To: Parker

From: Jarod

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They Didn't Break Us

They didn't break us.

Scars heal.

Hearts can still love.

I'm not coming back to the Centre.

I'm not coming back ever.

It's you, now,

Or I'm gone.

I can dissappear that easily.

I can dissappear that quickly.

It's you, now,

Or it's goodbye.

To: Jarod

From: Ms. P

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Then Goodbye It Must Be

Then goodbye it must be.

I'm not coming with you.

I can't.

I'll say goodbye.

I can say goodbye.

I can let you go.

I must let you go.

You must go.

This is how the chase will end.

You'll go,

I'll stay.

This is how the chase must end.

To: Parker

From: I'm yours

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Are You Sure?

Are you sure?

Is this really how it must end?

You'll release me?

You'll let me go away?

I'll be gone tomorrow.

I'll be gone today.

I'll be gone right now.

And then, it really will be goodbye.

Are you sure?

To: My Friend

From: Your Friend

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I Have To Let You Go

I have to let you go.

I let go of everyone I love.

I let them leave.

They can't stay.

You can't stay.

You have to go away.

Leave me here.

I'll be fine.

Leave me here and go.

To: Parker

From: I Love You

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You Don't Have To…

You don't have to let go of everyone.

You don't have to stop yourself from loving.

I love you.

I always have.

Come away.

Come away with me.

Dissappear withme.

Dissappear tomorrow.

Dissappear today.

Dissappear now.

I love you

To: My Best Friend

From: Your Best Friend

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Come Away?

Come away? 

Be gone?

Impossible.

It' can't happen

They'll always be there.

They'll always be behind us.

They'll always be hurting us.

They'll always pull us apart,

Because we cannot be.

I cannot come away.

But, you go.

You be gone.

Leave me

To: My Best Friend

From: I Really Do Love You

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I'll Never Leave

I'll never leave,

Til you leave with me.

If you love me,

Be with me.

You can't release me,

Because I won't let go.

I'm not leaving,

Until you leave with me.

To: You

From: Me

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No

No,

You must go.

Run.

Run free,

And don't look back.

Don't look for me.

I'm gone.

I don't exist.

Once you're gone,

I'm just a Centre operative.

To: You

From: I Love you

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…You're Always You

No, you're always you.

You always exist.

To me…you're everything.

All os these years,

You've been everything.

Can't you see?

Can't you come,

And be free?

To: I Love You

From: I Love You Too

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Goodbye

Goodbye.

It has to end with goodbye

Everything ends with goodbye.

We end with goodbye.

To: Goodbye

From: I Die With Goodbye

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I Send You Only This

I send you only this,

Only this, 

And nothing more.

You wish it to be goodbye,

And so it is.

But you must know,

I die with goodbye.

'Here's to my love!

…Thus with a kiss I die!'

Author's Note: I might leave it at this because sometimes things just have sad endings. The last line, "Here's to my love!…Thus with a kiss I die!" is from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet…how tragically reminiscent of Parker and Jarod's relationship…I hope you noticed how the To and From's changed…just an extra touch. Please review! I wanna know if this keeps going or not and it's entirely up to you.


	2. You Don't Have to Die

Disclaimer: The Pretender is not mine…let's repeat this to ourselves…The Pretender is not mine…The Pretnder is not mine…I've brainwashed you all now. By the way, as long as the characters continue to live in my head, they're a part of me and so, in some small way, they are mine.

Summary: Jarod and Ms. Parker exchange poems via the internet as he tries to convince her to end the chase.

Author's Note: This chapter immediately follows the first one so keep track of the To and Froms from the last chapter and how they flow into this one.

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If I Stumble

By Bec-Bec

Chapter 2

To: Romeo

From: Juliet

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You Don't Have To Die

You don't have to die.

It doesn't have to end with you dying.

You can find someone else.

You can still love.

Love someone else.

Leave me and love another.

Leave me and live.

Don't die for me.

To: Juliet

From: I'll Always Die For You

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I'd Die For You Anyday

I'd die for you anyday.

That's why I offered to come back.

That's why I'll come back.

But only if…

Only if you come away.

I'll come back to take you with me.

I'll come back to take you away.

Come away.

I'll come back,

If you come away.

To: My Love

From: I Can't Come

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You Have To Go

You have to go.

You have to leave.

You can't come back.

It's not safe to come back.

Go and be free.

Live and be free.

To: Please

From: There Is No Freedom

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Hah, Free

Hah, free.

Free does not exist.

My heart is not free of you.

My heart will never be free of you.

Please, Parker.

Please.

To: Freedom Fighter

From: If You Love Me, Let Go

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Let Go

Let go.

Let go of me.

If you love me, let go.

I love you, so let go.

I'm an illusion that cannot be.

Please, Jarod.

Take your freedom.

Use it well.

Don't look for me.

Don't come for me.

Only you can be free.

To:You

From: Me

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What If I Trade Me For You?

What if I trade me for you?

What if you run away,

And I come back?

What if I let them take me?

What if I stay with them?

Would you leave?

Would you please leave?

To: You

From: Tired

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I'm Tired of This Game

I'm tired of this game.

It's such a shame,

That you won't go.

Just go and leave.

Why won't you just go and leave?

It can't be you for me.

I'm already theirs.

You never were.

Go, please.

Just go.

To: You're Not Theirs

From: I'm not Theirs

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We Don't Belong To Them

We don't belong to them.

We never did.

We never will.

But I could belong to you.

I want to belong to you.

I want you to belong to me.

Don't make it goodbye.

Don't let this be goodbye.

I hate the word goodbye.

To:You

From: Forever the Ice Queen

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Go

Go.

Just go the hell away.

You are so stubborn,

And so foolish.

Go away.

To: You

From: Never

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I Don't Go Away

I don't go away.

It doesn't work that way.

It never has.

I've always been there.

You know I've always been there.

I'll never go away.

Just come with me.

It's so easy,

To just say yes,

And come with me.

To: Never Leaves

From: Ms. P

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It's Never Easy

It's never easy.

Nothing is easy.

I can't just drop everything.

I can't just leave.

They'd find us.

They'd kill us.

Or worse,

They'd kill you,

And I'd be left alone.

I'm always alone.

To: Lonely Parker

From: Lonely Jarod

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You Were Never Alone

You were never alone.

You'll never walk alone.

'_When you walk through a storm…_

Keep your head up high

And don't be afraid of the dark.'

I've always been with you.

Didn't you know?

Couldn't you tell?

To: You Cannot Be

From: I Cannot Be

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Yes…I Could

Yes…I could.

But I can't come with you.

Leave me.

Go now.

Leave me.

…go.

…now.

To: My Parker

From: Your Jarod

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Why Do You…

Why do you make it end this way?

Why does it end this way?

Why does it always end this way?

Why does it almost make sense that it ends this way?

'_It make sense that it should happen this way._

That the sky should break,

And the earth should shake.

As if to say,

Sure it all matters,

But in such an unimportant way.

As if to say,

Fly away,

Sweet Bird of Prey.

Fly fly away.

Nothing can stand in your way.

Sweet bird,

If you knew the words,

I know that you'd say,

Fly.

Fly away.

It makes sense that it should hurt in this way.

That my heart should break,

And my hands should shake.

As if to say,

Sure it don't matter,

Except in the most important ways.

As if to say,

Fly away,

Sweet Bird of Prey.

Fly fly away.

I won't stand in your way.

Sweet bird,

If you knew the words,

I know that you'd say,

Fly.

Fly away.

It makes sense that it should feel this way.

That you slowly fade,

And yet still remain.

As if to say,

Everything matters in such and invisible way.

As if to say,

It's okay.

Fly away.'

Parker, please fly away.

I'll stay,

You fly away.

Author's Note: The song You'll Never Walk Alone is from the musical Carousel. I haven't seen the movie in a while and I don't remember the lyrics, so I hope they're right. The song Fly Away belongs to Poe. It's an amazing song. It just made me think of Parker and Jarod. Does this end? Need feedback and ideas! Please review! Or it ends with goodbye.


	3. The Caged Bird

Disclaimer: The Pretender is not mine…let's repeat this to ourselves…The Pretender is not mine…The Pretnder is not mine…I've brainwashed you all now. By the way, as long as the characters continue to live in my head, they're a part of me and so, in some small way, they are mine.

Summary: Jarod and Ms. Parker exchange poems via the internet as he tries to convince her to end the chase.

Author's Note: This chapter immediately follows the first one so keep track of the To and Froms from the last chapter and how they flow into this one.

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If I Stumble

By Bec-Bec

Chapter 3

To: Bird

From: Cage

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You Go

You go.

You fly away.

I can't

I'm in the cage.

I can't escape.

But, you can go.

Don't let them put you in here.

Don't let them get you.

But, you have to let them have me.

It's the only way.

To: Caged Bird

From: Your Freedom

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I Can Release You…

I can release you from the cage

We can fly free together.

We can have love.

We can have a home.

We can have a family.

We can have each other.

We can fly free together.

Don't let them clip your wings.

Fly away with me.

To: Fly away

From: The Cage Is Closed.

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Fly Away

Fly away.

It's the only way.

Just fly away.

I promise not to cry.

You'll never know.

You'll never know,

That you've left me behind.

The cage is closed.

The door is locked.

But not for you.

You fly away.

To: Trapped

From: The Locksmith

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Don't You See?

Don't you see?

Can't you see that you locked the door yourself?

You slammed it shut.

You slammed it in my face.

But if you wanted me gone,

Why did you look through the bars?

Why do you stare at me?

Why do your eyes keep pleading with me,

To set you free?

Let me pull you out.

Let me take you away.

Let's soar into the sunlight.

To: Soaring Bird

From: Broken Wing

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I Can't Fly

I can't fly.

You cannot ask me to try.

Stop these foolish rantings.

Just go.

For once in your life,

Just go.

If you stay any longer,

They'll know.

They'll find you and they'll know.

My broken wing,

Is not your broken heart.

Just go.

To: The Broken Girl

From: The Broken Boy

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Then It's Time

Then it's time.

It's time for me to come back.

They'll never let me go.

So what's the point?

If I don't have you,

At least I'll be near you.

You'll laugh in my face,

You'll spit at my existence,

You'll despise me.

But I'll know.

I'll know that you love me.

I'll let them take me.

And I won't leave…

Just because, 

it's the only way, 

to be near you.

To: Giving Up

From: You Can't Do That

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What Kind Of Life Is That?

What kind of life is that?

You can't do that.

You can't turn yourself in.

I can't do that again…

I can't pretend again.

Why?

Why do you have to make me cry?

How come you never go away?

Just go and leave.

I can't leave.

To: Won't Leave

From: It Doesn't Matter

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It Doesn't Matter Anymore

It doesn't matter anymore.

I'm alone.

Without you,

I'm all alone.

So why not be alone near you,

Than alone and far away?

To: Far away

From: Even Farther

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You Have So Much

You have so much.

You have so much to give.

You have so much to do.

You have your family.

Find them, Jarod.

Keep them close.

But go far away,

Don't ever let them find you.

To: Everything

From: Nothing

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It's A Half Life

It's a half life.

When there's no love,

When there's no soulmate,

There's only half a life.

To: The Half Man

From: The Nothing Woman

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You'll Have More

You'll have more.

More than I've got.

You have my heart, Jarod.

Why do you need me?

Take my heart Jarod,

But I can't come.

To: Parker

From: Jarod

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We're Always The Same

We're always the same,

Aren't we?

I am you,

And you are me.

So, why can't it be me for you?

Please leave them.

Please just go.

To: Going In Circles

From: Ending Circles

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We're Going In Circles

We're going in circles.

The same words,

Over and over.

The same thoughts,

Over and over.

I'll end the circle.

I'll end it now.

I'll end it myself.

It's time to change the story.

But it's not the ending you want.

It's just a different one…

Because…

' "The time has come,"

The walrus said,

"To talk of other things.

Of shoes and ships,

And sealing wax,

Of cabbages and kings,

And why the sea is boiling hot,

And whether pigs have wings." '

Pig's don't have have wings, Jarod.

And I can't come.

But I'm going to end it.

Author's Note: The line " 'The time has come,' the walrus said, 'to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.'" Is from the movie Alice In Wonderland and belongs to Disney and perhaps Lewis Caroll who wrote the book, though I have no idea if it's actually in the book because I've never read it. Don't you think it's about time that Ms. Parker climbed out of the rabbit hole and woke up to see that Jarod is meant for her and she is meant for him? Thoughts and comments? Please Review!!! Or it ends with goodbye.


	4. Little Lost Alice

Disclaimer: The Pretender is not mine…let's repeat this to ourselves…The Pretender is not mine…The Pretnder is not mine…I've brainwashed you all now. By the way, as long as the characters continue to live in my head, they're a part of me and so, in some small way, they are mine.

Summary: Jarod and Ms. Parker exchange poems via the internet as he tries to convince her to end the chase.

Author's Note: This chapter immediately follows the first one so keep track of the To and Froms from the last chapter and how they flow into this one.

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If I Stumble

By Bec-Bec

Chapter 4

To: Little Lost Alice

From: Outside the Rabbit Hole

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Are You Coming?

Are you coming?

Are you leaving the madness,

To come seek solace with me?

Please,

Tell me,

What do you mean?

How will you end it?

Will you come to me now?

Will you stay with me now?

How will you end it?

To: The Mad Hatter

From: Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore

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I'll End It…

I'll end it the only way I know how.

The only way that ever works.

The way it all ends.

The way everything ends.

To: Parker

From: How? How Does It End?

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I Don't Understand

I don't understand.

What do you mean?

How does it end?

You can't mean…

Do you mean…

To: Always the Genius

From: Your Parker

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You Know How It Ends

You know how it ends.

You always have.

You know the way it is.

You know how everything ends.

How everyone at the Centre leaves.

To: My Parker

From: No!

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You Can't End It That Way

You can't end it that way.

It can't end that way.

I won't let you.

I'll be there tomorrow.

I'll be there today.

I'll be there right now.

I'm coming to you, 

Because it can't end this way.

To: Chasing After Butterflies

From: Let It Be

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Then How Come This Is How It Ends?

Then how come this is how it ends?

How come this is how it always ends?

Stay away.

Leave me alone.

Let me be.

Stop chasing butterflies,

That you can't catch.

Just go away,

And Let it be.

To: The Most Beautiful Butterfly

From: I'm On My Way

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I'm Almost There

I'm almost there.

I'm almost here.

Because I choose how this ends,

And it doesn't end this way.

It cannot end this way.

To: You

From: Goodbye Sweet Bird

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It's Already Ended

It's already ended.

You are too late

This is how it is.

This is how it ends.

This is our fate.

This is our curse.

This is our loneliness

To: Angel

From: Sweet Bird

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I Couldn't Save You

I couldn't save you,

Could I?

You were the one,

Weren't you?

The one I was doomed to let down.

The one I had to let go.

Where are you know, Angel?

Where have you gone?

Birds can't fly without wings.

Jarod's can't live without their Angels.

Author's Note: I had to put a chapter break here, even if the next chapter is posted right after this one, just to cause some suspense. So, why are you still reading this? Read the next chapter.


	5. Angels Never Fall

Disclaimer: The Pretender is not mine…let's repeat this to ourselves…The Pretender is not mine…The Pretnder is not mine…I've brainwashed you all now. By the way, as long as the characters continue to live in my head, they're a part of me and so, in some small way, they are mine.

Summary: Jarod and Ms. Parker exchange poems via the internet as he tries to convince her to end the chase.

Author's Note: This chapter immediately follows the first one so keep track of the To and Froms from the last chapter and how they flow into this one.

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If I Stumble

By Bec-Bec

Chapter 5…And it's the end

To: The Loneliest Bird In the World

From:

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Angels Never Fall

Angels never fall.

Angels never die.

Angels never end.

No one at the Centre ever dies.

Look out the window…

To: Forever

From: Forever

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And Angels' Hearts…

And angels' hearts give birds wings.

Angels' arms around birds' hearts.

Jarod in Ms. Parker's arms.

Ms. Parker in Jarod's arms.

Because…that is how it has to be.

It's just forever,

With you and me.

Author's Note: Sigh…I love happy endings. I wasn't going to give this a happy ending, but I was starting to break my own heart. In fact, I'm crying at this right now. Is that allowed? I hope you liked it. Please review!!! Thanks to everyone who spent their time reading this and everyone who bothered to review it.

Post Script: The last poem is an e-mail from Jarod and Ms. Parker to each other. I wanted to put in a number 8 to mark infinity instead of forever (remember that 8 is Jarod's favorite number because it's infinity on its side) but I wasn't sure anyone would get it…though I'm sure most of you are just as crazy and obsessive as I am…sigh… Everybody keep writing! 


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